Writers block!
Anyone else here mental ill? Show of hands? Well I, for one, have my hand raised high. How does that relate to writers block, Elizabeth?? Well thank you for asking! For me personally, I have Bipolar Disorder and with that comes ups and downs. You may have seen the disorder on T.V. or in movies, and while it may seem cartoonified, it unfortunately isn't always. High highs followed by low lows is a very common symptom for us, and it is incredibly difficult to recognize when you are in one of the swings, and you are powerless to stop it. Medication helps for some people, but not for everyone. How that relates to writers block, is when that mania stops, so does a lot of motivation.
For me, I wrote my whole first draft of my book in 2 weeks. That may not sound like a lot, but the first draft is not the roughest thing I have ever written, and that takes a lot of effort. On top of that, I have never even wanted to write a book!! I have always been a passionate writer surrounded by other passionate writers (my mom being a book writer though unpublished, as well as my aunt being a writer who has self published a couple of books) but personally, I have never been a long form writer. Growing up I wrote short stories and poems, and when I hit my teen years I started writing teleplays and screenplays. For those who don't know, tele and screen plays are dialogue heavy, you don't include what the characters look like, sound like, what the scene is like beyond the most basic of basic descriptions. What I'm saying is it is a completely different set of skills needed to write a book and other forms of writing.
After my mania stopped, which lasted several weeks, I lost my drive for writing the book, and that is so common, but also incredibly annoying. My mania literally made me write a whole book, something I never wanted to do, but now that I am back to a more static level of emotion and being, I have to figure out what it is I want to do going forward. Mania is not a good thing, it can be very detrimental to your health, more than just mentally. Most of us will never be "fixed" by using medication, it is more to regulate and limit the level of mania and the frequency. With that being said, I can't just wait for another manic episode to finish the whole process that comes with writing a book, but I have no motivation to edit, write the query letters, etc.. I took 2 weeks to write the book, but I have no idea how long it will take for me to find the motivation to edit each new draft!
When I am not manic, I tend to have a lot of issues with focus, motivation, and lethargy. All very common symptoms, but that doesn't make living with the disorder any easier. This writers block, and lack of motivation, are what pushed me to start this blog actually. I need someone, or someones, to hold me accountable. And I don't mean that as having someone tell me what to do, but if I tell someone I will be doing xyz, then I have no choice but to follow through as not to disappoint whoever I told. In the case of this little ramble, it is me putting it out in the ether, and it would be incredibly embarrassing if someone came across this in 2 years and I never even finished draft 4! That is just me, I would ne recommend using shame as a motivator, this just holds me accountable to myself.
Ultimately, and the point of all this, is to say I understand your lack of motivation! You are seen, and I relate so heavy with the struggle. I would say experiment to find what works best for you. Telling someone else what you're going to do to push yourself to do, won't work for anyone, but it does work for me, so I do it. If that doesn't work for you, that's totally fair! But find what works for you. Maybe it is putting a screen time limiter on your phone so you can't doom scroll. Or maybe it is finding a writing buddy, and you two can meet up or face time and keep each other on track. Perhaps it is booking a study room at the library and locking into whatever it is that you are writing. There are countless things that you could try, and all it takes is trial and error. In some cases, what works for you for 6 months, it very well could stop working, but that just means you have to experiment again. Getting frustrated and just giving up sounds so appealing, but you can do this! Currently I am pushing through my motivation issues, and allowing myself to accept whatever my brain wants to do. Have I wanted to edit? Nope, absolutely not. What I do want to do, though, is write the outline of the sequel, so I did that (all 9 pages of it!). Did I want to edit after that? Still nope! What my brain could focus on, was the outline of another stand alone book, so that is what I did. You are allowed to take a break and do what you can, even if it is unrelated to the piece you are working on. Writers block doesn't just go away because you want it to, and it certainly doesn't benefit you to force it.
You are seen, you are understood, and you are valid! Welp that is all that I have for you right now, I might post a prompt and short piece of mine today or this week, but we'll see! I will also add updates as I work through draft 4, and everything that comes after. For now, I am going to read a netgalley book that has a review due soon. Much love to everyone, and good luck with your writing!!
-Elizabeth
